


Falter

by romanticalgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl





	Falter

James tries very hard not to think about kissing Lily. It isn’t easy, as it seems whenever he looks at her, she’s licking her lips or pushing her lower lip out in concentration or simply sitting there, lips in a perfect bow that seem to beg to be kissed.

Not that kissing her is actually any kind of option, as she’s made it perfectly clear she’d just as soon kiss the Slytherin snake (which was not, she had pointed out emphatically, a euphemism for anyone’s private bits, no matter what Sirius might say) as get close enough to him to do anything remotely romantic.

He sighs and tries to look away, but it get harder when she leans in closer to a few of her friends and laughs, the soft trilling sound shivering up and down his spine. He finally manages to break his gaze, only to find himself looking at Remus, who is looking at him with soft, almost pitying eyes. 

“Have you thought to talk to her?”

“Thought about it,” James nods and sighs. “Then realized it wouldn’t do any good. Sirius’s mucked this up completely this time.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to.”

“I’m sure he did. Nothing’s quite as vicious as a Sirius scorned.” 

“That I can vouch for,” Remus agrees, his gaze moving over to where Sirius was sitting with a group of Ravenclaw girls, very deliberately not looking at either of them. “I still think you should talk to her.”

“And say what, exactly? ‘Lily, I know you think I’m a royal git right now, but I can assure you that Sirius is wrong. I was only snogging Remus because we thought it’d be a laugh’?”

“Well, that probably wouldn’t go over well.”

“And it would be a lie, which really isn’t what I’m looking for to bridge the gap.” James sighs and runs a hand through his hair, mussing it further, unintentionally for once. “But telling her the truth would be…”

“Damning.”

“For you.” James blows out a low breath. “And you’re already damned enough, eh? Without me throwing my lot in with the other side?”

“I wouldn’t think of it that way. In fact, I think it’s only right that Lily knows. She’s not going anywhere, James. And neither am I.” Remus fingers his quill, staring down at his ink-stained fingers. “She has a right to know the truth, even if you think it’s not your truth to tell.”

“You’re giving me your leave, then?”

“My leave,” Remus nods. “My blessing.” He reaches out and catches James’s hand, squeezes it quickly before pulling back and getting to his feet. “I’ll not be the one who goes down in history as being your downfall.”

**

“Oh,” Lily looks up at the shadow darkening the pages of her book. “It’s you then.”

“I was hoping I could have a few words.”

“Did you need some? I have a few choice ones I can supply you with, since the first round of them seems to have worn off.”

“Lily.” He sits across from her, his hands folded in front of him as he glances down at the worn wood. “I’m only going to say this once, and hate that I have to say it at all.” He looks up at her, something in his expression stilling her tongue. “What Sirius said to you…it wasn’t true. Well,” he quirks a slight grin then swallows it as her face hardens, “it was. And it wasn’t.”

She doesn’t say anything, simply gathers her things together in preparation of leaving.

“I was kissing Remus. And it probably looked worse than it was, especially to Sirius, as he’s had a thing for Remus forever and never had the ball…er, guts to do anything about it. But I wasn’t…we aren’t…Remus is a werewolf.”

Lily freezes, her hands relaxing around the scrolls they hold, sending the whole tangle of them clattering back to the table as her eyes shoot up to his. “What?”

“Since he was a lad, to hear him tell it. Bitten long before he ever came to Hogwarts. The rest of us – Sirius, Peter and I – found out first year and set about to try and help him through it. We did some…things. We were doing our best for him.” He clears his throat and looks back down at his hands, unable to keep holding her eyes. “Last month, at the full moon, Sirius did something and he and Remus have been…ever since then, things have been bad between all of us. Then, the other night, after the full moon, Remus was hurting. I’d been there for him, but it wasn’t the same, and afterwards…well, he was upset and shaking and crying and not…not being Remus at all. And I didn’t know what to do, as I’m hopeless when it comes to things like that, but I sat there and thought about what I’d do if it were someone I loved, and it was, because it was Remus, but I still couldn’t think, so I simply thought what I’d do if it were you, and the next thing I knew, I was holding him and rocking him and telling him everything would be all right and then we were kissing, but not really, just something for comfort, which is, of course, when Sirius the stupid git walked in and misinterpreted the entire situation, running off at his mouth again, like always.” 

“You call him Moony,” Lily whispers softly, tilting her head and catching his eyes. “I’ve heard you. That’s why you do it.”

“Yes.”

“It…confused me. Sirius telling me about you and Remus. Just you I could understand, since I know he’s jealous of me. Of you and me. But I suspected he had a thing for Remus and I just couldn’t understand why he…” She straightens in her chair and clears her throat, her hands busily gathering her scrolls once again. “I’ve got to go.”

“Oh.” James nods, at a loss, drowning. He doesn’t watch her go, doesn’t think he can stand to. The door closes in the distance and he exhales, unaware he’d been holding his breath. After a few moments of shocked silences, he realizes others in the library are staring at him, and he gets to his feet, walking toward the door without seeing anything at all, letting his feet lead him back toward Gryffindor.

Her hand is tight in his robe as she pulls him against her, their bodies colliding in the small niche in the wall. Whatever it was he’d imagined her lips would be like, it was nothing like what it is. Soft and firm and tender and demanding all at once, a study in contrasts like the girl – woman – in his arms. 

He shuts his brain off, something he’s grown increasingly good at, and kisses her back, reveling in sensation instead of thought. He memorizes how it feels to have her fingers in his hair, how her lips taste like vanilla and sugar but her tongue reminds him of peppermint and chocolate, that her skin smells like wildflowers but tastes like she’s been in the library too long. 

Her tongue is tentative against his and he guides it with his own, urging her to follow his lead with soft moans that he’d be embarrassed by if he weren’t kissing Lily, if every fantasy he’d had – even the more…detailed ones – weren’t paling in comparison to the real thing, to the hard tips of her breasts that sweep gently against his chest as she sways into him, to the sharp tang of perspiration that clings to her upper lip as he licks at it, sliding his tongue back into the welcome warmth of her mouth.

She pulls back and gasps for air, her green eyes flashing. “Took you long enough.”

“To follow?” He asks then stops, her smile catching his heart and twisting it in ways that Sirius has warned him about. “Oh.”

“You’ll walk me back?”

“Er…yes. Of course.”

“Sirius won’t be pleased.”

James looks at her out of the corner of his eye as he steps into the hallway, trying to hide his surprise and delight as she takes his hand, tightening her grip as they begin to walk. “I dunno. With me out of the way, he might actually have a chance with Remus.”

“We’ll have to do something about your ego, you know.”

“You’ve been doing something about my ego since the day we met, Miss Evans.”

“Don’t expect that to stop, Mr. Potter.”

He grins and keeps walking, unable to hide his grin as he notices how easily and how perfectly they stay in step.


End file.
